Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I Worry

Still.

Even after the Fontan, I still worry about Eli and his health.  It is always present on my mind.  And I'm surprised, actually.

Before his last surgery I thought that once it was over, wow, no more anxiety!  We'd be free!
Not the case.

Eli is a big, beautiful boy.  And he's three now, which is a big mile stone for me and my husband.  Eli's third birthday always seemed more like a beautiful idea than a probable reality.  I was very weepy on his birthday, and all the emotions that came with that day--of remembering his birth and all the crazy that went with it--was almost too much to handle.  It really made me realize that once one becomes a heart baby parent, he/she will always be a heart baby parent.

Having Eli changed me, for the good I believe.
But sometimes I wish I didn't "feel" so much!

1 comment:

Annie said...

Dear Shannie,
I am so touched by this sweet, tender post. You have a "motherheart". One that will always yearn and hope and pray that your Eli will be happy and healthy. Dad and I were just talking about you on Saturday. Talking about how much you have been through in the last 7 years. You are one of the strongest women I know. You never gave up. You pushed through. You are an amazing example of someone who "can do hard things."
I love you very much.
-Mom